REPEAT AFTER ME - DARTH STITCH IS NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE A MIDDLE EARTH CHARACTERS REINCARNATED IN THE MODERN DAY STORY. NO, I REFUSE TO WRITE THE STORY OF THORIN DURIN, WHO MAYBE COULD BE THE KING OF A TINY FICTIONAL EUROPEAN COUNTRY AND INCLUDE A JOKE ABOUT BEING THE WORLD’S TALLEST FUCKING DWARF AT SIX FEET TWO INCHES.
I don’t know, ‘Stitch…. it could work. I mean, John Watson has a cousin named Bill Baggins (and yes, he’s heard all the Hobbit jokes all his life). They kind of look alike, except Bill’s got reddish, curly hair and he owns this bookstore and Fili and I happen to work there…
And John usually drops by to complain about his crazy flatmate/boyfriend who does all this neat deducing stuff…
He’s a bit of a berk, but he’s all right in the end. He was pretty amused to find us working in a book shop. Hey, I really do like books. Blame Bill!
And then, there’s this thing about Uncle having to fend off these bunch of terrorists wanting to kill off the Royal Line of Durin….
… and maybe he wants to hire a Certain Consulting Detective…
... and maybe there’s something Bill’s not telling us about his ex-boyfriend?
OH GOD HELP
- Stitch, Fili and Kili (who are now shamelessly joining forces with John Watson to DESTROY STITCH’S WORLD COMPLETELY)